Movember Movies: An Homage To The Moustache

By @scarletmgross
Movember Movies: An Homage To The Moustache

In the midst of Movember, there are a number of men doing their best to spread awareness of men’s health issues with their burgeoning bristles. We at Way Too Indie fully support this “mo”vement — especially if it means that we all get to bask in the glory of millions of moustaches walking around us every day for a whole month. Whether you’ve already got an illustrious comb or you’re just straining to sprout something from a few of your follicles, if you are among the bros striving to grow your own facial man stamp, here’s a list of some of the best moustaches in movie history to keep you in the mood to “mo.”

Groucho Marx, Duck Soup

Groucho Marx moustache

Among the most famous of moustaches, no ‘Best Of’ list would be complete without Groucho Marx’s trademark broomstache. Shaded by two equally substantial eyebrows, Groucho’s (obviously fake) facial hair was the rimshot to his every fast-flowing joke. Indeed, all one has to do is pick up a pair of those trademark fake nose glasses with attached moustache and anyone can be just as funny as he was. Sort of. [Ananda]

Charlie Chaplin, Modern Times

Charlie Chaplin moustache

So Hitler’s toothbrush moustache is a shining example of how one person can ruin a fashion trend (and for the record, even the people of his time hated his look calling it rotzbremse or “snot brake”), but anyone who’s anyone knows Charlie Chaplin had it first, and he made it adorable. Swishing his ‘stache like a broom, he swept up audience’s hearts. And never one to pass up on a comedic opportunity, he went on to parody Hitler in The Great Dictator shortly after. [Ananda]

Frederick Loren, House on Haunted Hill

Frederick Loren moustache

Because it’s the classiest of classic moves to have at the heart of a haunted house flick a mustachioed and sinister host. Vincent Price combines his wonderful lip crown with a pair of incredibly expressive eyebrows to deliver this most delightful performance. It almost makes you giddy. Yes, even you. [Scarlet]

Rhett Butler, Gone With the Wind

Rhett Butler moustache

You might have thought it was his sparkling eyes or his darling dimple. But, no, it was most obviously that clever little moustache that kept Scarlett hanging on. Maybe Clark Gable didn’t give a damn, but you wouldn’t think so with how much time and devotion he would need to have taken every morning to keep that well groomed look of his so, well, groomed. [Scarlet]

Sentenza, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Sentenza moustache

Ah, Angel Eyes. Nothing like a good twirly, villainous mustache to bring them out, too. Lee Van Cleef was proud of those beady eyes, his main moneymaker. But what better accessory to pair them with than this wonderful example of a mighty moustache? [Scarlet]

Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather 

Don Vito Corleone moustache

Marlon Brando is proof positive that there is no need for a dude to be able to nurture a full fledged Yosemite Sam ‘stache in order to illicit the fear of god into those he may need to intimidate. For a good cause of course. Or, at least, family. [Scarlet]

Bandit, Smokey and the Bandit

Smokey and the Bandit moustache

There are few faces in this world that look downright wrong without their trademark manhandle, and Burt Reynolds is among those people. The Bandit’s smile wouldn’t seem so pearlescent without the accent of a big dark ‘stache. What happens when Burt tries to shave? Deliverance. Enough said. [Ananda]

Peter Mitchell, Three Men and A Baby

Tom Selleck moustache

Yeah, they were all pretty manly, but there’s a reason Tom Selleck was the Alpha Male of this trio. That facial badge of his just gives him straight up authority among men and they all knew it. Even the baby. [Scarlet]

Hook, Hook

Dustin Hoffman Hook moustache

It’s hard to say which is more impressive about Dustin Hoffman’s thin and well-waxed moustache in Hook, the precise way it contrasts under his huge nose or the amazing ability Hoffman had to make it move like its own limb. Never in a movie has a close up on a ticking moustache been so sinister. We’re still getting chills. Good form, old man, good form. [Ananda]

Wyatt and Virgil Earp, Tombstone

Tombstone moustache

Virgil’s moustache is definitely the huskier of the two, but it’s Kurt Russell’s clear blue eyes that would make anyone swoon. And making them pop with that glorious face trophy? It doesn’t help that it’s a perfect replica of something that actually existed in history. #heartbreaker [Scarlet]

The Stranger, The Big Lebowski

Sam Elliott Big Lebowski moustache

As the seminal narrator of The Big Lebowski, Sam Elliott gets very little actual screen time in the film as The Stranger. Which is why it’s even more impressive he made our list. His wisdom for The Dude is added very real depth by the measure of the walrus whiskers accenting his words. The grayness of it has the Gandalf effect of adding poise, even as he mutters such things as “the Dude abides” and “got any more of that good sarsaparilla?” [Ananda]

Bill “The Butcher” Cutting, Gangs of New York

Bill The Butcher moustache

There are villains, and then there are villains with truly impressive facial hair. Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill the Butcher was intimidating enough with his butcher knife and plaid pants, but he took it entirely next level by achieving that most rare of moustaches, what I call the full-bodied rounded point. Like a handlebar, but this version holds on to you. [Ananda]

Borat, Borat

Borat moustache

While I would never really suggest anyone sitting through this movie, even for awareness’ sake, there is definitely something to be said for Sacha Baron Cohen’s heavy hitter of man-glory. This was a crowning achievement. How many words can I come up with for moustache? [Scarlet]

Jack, The Darjeeling Unlimited 

Jason Schwartzman moustache

When it comes to hitting the facial follicle gene jackpot, Jason Schwartzman had all the right numbers. Jewish Italian pretty much guarantees him the ability to grow whatever kind of facial cover-up he desires. He may play the shortest and youngest of the three brothers, but his distinctive lip luggage gave him all the gravitas he needed.  [Ananda]

Walt Disney, Saving Mr. Banks

Tom Hanks moustache

When it comes to thinner moustaches it’s (literally) a fine line between your John Waters pencil mark moustache, a pubescent boy’s first attempts at peach fuzz, and the charming subtlety of Walt Disney’s well-spaced bristle. But Tom Hanks definitely pulls it off (I mean, it’s Tom Hanks, he could probably pull off the toothbrush Hitler-look with his overabundance of radiating goodness). Maybe his magic came from the ‘stache? [Ananda]

Theodore, Her

Joaquin Phoenix Her moustache

We’re willing to give Joaquin Phoenix some credit and say that his piercing but sad eyes are what made his character so sympathizable in Her, but that common dude brostache added even more of a touch of the everyman. It’s only a shame the virtual Samantha never got to appreciate the comfort some solid lipholstery can bring.  [Ananda]

Charles Mortdecai, Mortdecai

Johnny Depp Mortecai moustache

And, coming in 2015, we will finally see Johnny Depp sporting the moustache he deserves.  As a redhead (can I say ginger?) no less.  But that’s your motivation for next year.  Stay strong, my friends. [Scarlet]

Want to contribute to the cause, or grow a ‘stache to support men’s health? Get involved and find details at the Movember website.

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