Forget Crossing Lines, There are No Lines: ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 5, Episode 9

It’s time to decompress as we near the end of Season 5 of Game of Thrones, so it goes without saying (but we’ll say it anyway) there may be spoilers ahead if you aren’t caught up on this season. Consider yourself alerted.

It’s been a while since we’ve expressed all the feels we’ve had this season of Game of Thrones. But believe me the feels are real. Cersei has been a royal b****, like literally and while we’re totes excited that it’s all blowing up in her face it hasn’t led to a better outcome for poor Margaery or her brother who are also toiling away in cells right now. Man, you give the religious fanatics an iota of power, amirite?

Another reason kids shouldn’t be kings. So ill-equipped to deal when the shit hits the fan.

Meanwhile Jon’s attempt to join forces with the Wildlings was colossally cut short by the White Walkers in last week’s episode, finally bringing some much-needed action to a rather tepid couple of weeks. Especially with Arya getting slapped around because she wants to hold on to a bit of her identity, and Sansa getting, well, violently introduced to the sadistic family behaviors of the Bolton family, and Bran 100% AWOL this season, it’s exciting to see any of the Stark clan kicking ass.

While last week’s episode was a great reminder that GoT is capable of serious action (and another reminder that no one is safe, phew Jon that was close), last night’s episode reiterates something that I’m continuously surprised to hear people complain about: the supposed “line” that Game of Thrones continues to cross. I don’t know who keeps drawing this so-called line, but seriously, dude, just quit.

Think major and beloved characters can’t die? Think again. Think they can’t die in gruesomely awful and sinister ways? Wisen up friend.

Let’s list off every awful and evil possibility and GoT has probably been there, done that—or is getting there shortly. In George R.R. Martin’s world (or the one expounded on by the show’s writers) pregnant women are stabbed to death in the belly. Mystical religious women give birth to shadow babies that murder at their bidding. Innocent women are raped. Good people get their throats slit (or heads chopped off). Sadistic sociopathic bastard sons are given free rein to dismember and enslave. And, like we learned last night, kids can die. No matter how good of heart and adorable they are.

I mean, are we forgetting those poor farm boys burnt to crisps at Theon’s bidding a few seasons ago? This HAS happened before, guys. Poor greyscaled Shireen, another victim of the mindless ambition that fuels those seeking the Iron Throne. Stannis Baratheon has lulled us into believing he may be the lesser of a few evils vying for the throne right now. But no. He’s just as ambitiously evil as the rest of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s revealed at some point that this damn throne is like the one ring in LOTR, giving off some mind-scrambling vibes to those who seek it. One of Dany’s dragons needs to drop that sucker into Mount Doom.

Really hoping this mean Davos, Shireen’s best friend and the only voice of reason in Stannis’s house, is the one to take down this guy. It’s hard to imagine him continuing to back Stannis after this kind of batshit cray.

And moving on to Dany! What an exciting day in Meereen. We’ve got some solid banter between Daenerys’ boyfriend Daario and her betrothed Hizdahr zo Loraq, while Jorah fights for her affection in a more physically tenuous sort of way, and new sidekick/bestie Tyrion (this is by far my new favorite development in the series) spouts off sarcastic wisdom. But Dany can’t just have a lovely day out anymore, not with her people rising up against her. It quickly turns into a White Walker situation when the masked Sons of the Harpy circle in on Dany and her crew in an assassination attempt. Then (FINALLY) the Mother of Dragons starts to earn her title. Drogon swoops in to save the day and Dany rides off Harry Potter style.

I’m hoping she spends some time in the wilderness with Drogon, becoming one with her dragon and preparing to be the most badass leader this GoT world has ever seen. I mean let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter who wants to take on the Iron Throne anymore, the White Walkers could waltz up and take it out from under them with their limitless army of dead. We’re going to need some supernatural aid in fighting the world-wide war we’ve been building up to.

So my advice as we head into next week’s finale, just go ahead and jot down anything and everything you can possibly think of that would be horrible, evil, or downright shocking and make your peace with it all. Like some mystical fucked up mathematical equation, there are no lines in Game of Thrones. If you’re going to be a fan, you’ve got to expect the worst—and admit to yourself that this is exactly the reason you watch this show.

Valar morghulis, my friends. All men must die.