Like Paul Bunyan, Bigfoot, and Pecos Bill, the heroes and villains of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice are more mythical than super, writing a new page in American folklore as they split the skies with each thunderous blow. Director Zack Snyder‘s approach to DC’s now timeless characters is apt—few modern myths stand taller than Batman and Superman—but, as usual, the Watchmen and Man of Steel director gets lost in the grandeur, delivering a solemn, overly studied, slog of a movie.

The super-brawl promised in the movie’s title is as spectacular as anyone could have dreamed, but before we reach the main event melee, there’s a two-hour-long preliminary bout that sees Snyder pitted in a sweaty grappling match against complex themes of ideology and theology. Spoiler: he loses. Consequently, we lose too. By the time Batman and Superman (and a few surprise guests) get all bashy-bashy, stabby-stabby, we’re bored to tears by Snyder’s glorified lecture on man v god.

Henry Cavill returns as alien do-gooder Superman, who, at the story’s outset, is the subject of worldwide debate. His city-levelling battle with General Zod (Michael Shannon) at the end of Man of Steel cost the lives of thousands, calling into question whether his actions were justified and whether his presence on earth is a benefit or detriment to the future and well-being of mankind. Some see him as a messiah; others, an omnipotent pariah who could reduce our planet to dust should we refuse to bow down.

One man who has no plans of kneeling to “the Superman” is billionaire brooder Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck). One of the buildings decimated by Superman and Zod was Wayne Enterprises, which toppled right in front of Bruce’s eyes, hundreds of his employees’ lives blinked out in what some would call “collateral damage.” It’s a tragedy that haunts Bruce almost as much as the memory of losing his parents to a mugger in that classic alleyway scene we all know so well from countless movie, comic book, and TV iterations of the Batman origin story (which Snyder mercifully zips through in the opening credits). The story picks up 18 months later, with the Bat keeping a watchful eye on the bulletproof Kryptonian as he patrols the skies, above all men and above the law.

Bruce and the rest of Superman’s detractors are given more fuel to feed their fire when more lives are lost during a rescue of his beloved Lois Lane (Amy Adams). A reactionary congressional hearing is held, calling for him to appear in court to consider the consequences and ethicality of his actions. As fear and paranoia surrounding the continue to spread, tech genius Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) offers a solution to the world’s Superman problem in the form of Kryptonite weaponry. All he needs is to get his hands on a chunk of the extraterrestrial rock, but his political maneuverings to do so are blocked by Senator June Finch (Holly Hunter, unexpectedly one of the movie’s strongest assets). As Superman is increasingly viewed as more of a threat than a savior, however, Luthor’s scheme begins to fall more easily into place.

For what seems like ages, Snyder and writers David S. Goyer and Chris Terrio bat around big ideas like the ever-evolving nature of homeland security and, most predominantly, the fraught relationship between man and god. The movie’s got the “god” part down: Batman, Superman, and the debuting Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot, a delightfully entertaining ass-kicker) come across as all-powerful goliaths, striking the most epic superhero poses this critic has ever seen (Snyder’s signature slo-mo, while as excessively implemented as ever, lends itself to characters of this magnitude).

As for the “man” half of the “man v god” thing, the movie drops the ball with an earth-shattering thud. The story’s obsessed with outlining the principles and lofty motivations of its heroes and villains without giving us a sense of what they are like as people. We’re so drowned in doom and gloom and planet-sized moral quandaries that we have no real grasp on what these heroes are actually fighting for. Clark’s got Lois and his mother Martha (a returning Diane Lane), and Bruce has got his butler Alfred (Jeremy Irons) and the memory of his parents, but all of these side characters are presented more as plot devices and pawns rather than living, breathing, relatable people. Snyder paints in such broad strokes that the nuances and details of our world are lost in the monstrous swirl of dark, folkloric imagery and ham-fisted dialogue.

When Batman and Superman finally fight, it’s so brutal and well-staged and irresistibly geeky that, while it doesn’t make up for the disastrous bulk of the movie that preceded it, it at least wakes us up from our stupor. Things get even better when Wonder Woman arrives to help them fight the Big Bad that eventually arrives to crash the party, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying the hell out of the climactic battle. If there’s a criticism, it’s that much of the dichotomous intrigue of Batman and Superman’s comic book confrontations is lost. When the two have battled on the page, the hook is that Superman should be able to crush Batman, but the fact that Bruce Wayne is not a good person (and is willing to cheat to win) gives him an unexpected edge. In the movie, Bruce is indeed a bad person; problem is, Clark doesn’t seem to be one either. He acts decidedly un-heroic on several occasions, flexing his super powers with a smug smirk on his face as he tosses Bats around like a ragdoll.

The character work is flawed all around, but this incarnation of Lex Luthor is the most confusing of the bunch. He’s more of a lunatic manchild cut from the same cloth as classic Bat-villain The Riddler than the imposing intellectual bully we’ve seen in the past. Is that a good thing? Sometimes. Eisenberg puts on a good, charismatic performance, and his wiry frame is an interesting visual juxtaposition to the heroes’ bulky physiques. But a part of me would rather have a supervillain who’s more menacing and less of a mischievous meddler.

Batman v Superman is a bonafide letdown, but the blame doesn’t rest on the shoulders of the actors. Everyone’s game and looks great, especially Cavill and Affleck, who are both black belts in the art of chin-jutting, come-at-me-bro machismo. Adams, Lane, and Irons are invaluable as they try valiantly to ground the story in some sense of realism. But alas, the script doesn’t give them enough room to work (the movie’s 153 minutes, for goodness sake). If the aim was to offer a more mature, “serious” superhero experience than Marvel Studios’ Avengers movies, Snyder and his team overachieved; this is as cynical, depressing, and emotionally hollow a blockbuster as we’ve seen in some time, a filmic representation of the adulthood misery that’s pushed the wonder of childhood fantasies out of the hearts of crotchety old-timers everywhere. Surely we were meant to have more fun than this.

Just as many expected, Argo took home the top award of Best Picture at the 85th Academy Awards, despite Ben Affleck not receiving a Best Director nomination, something that has only happened four times in 85 years. It was a year for records as Daniel Day-Lewis winning Best Actor for his role in Lincoln means that he is now the only person to have won three Best Actor awards in Oscar history. Also, the first time since 1969 there was a tie for a category (both Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty won for Best Sound Editing).

Even though Argo walked away with the top honors and two other awards (Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Editing), Life of Pi was the film that took home the most awards this year with four wins (Best Director, Best Cinematography, Best Score and Best Visual Effects). And while Lincoln had 12 nominations, the film only ended up winning two awards (Best Actor and Best Production Design).

List of 2013 Oscar Winners:

(The winners are highlighted in bold red font)

Amour
Argo
Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Misérables
Life Of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Michael Haneke – Amour
Benh Zeitlin – Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Ang Lee – Life Of Pi
Steven Spielberg – Lincoln
David O. Russell – Silver Linings Playbook

Denzel Washington – Flight
Hugh Jackman – Les Miserables
Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln
Joaquin Phoenix – The Master
Bradley Cooper – Silver Linings Playbook

Emmanuelle Riva – Amour
Quvenzhane Wallis – Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Naomi Watts – The Impossible
Jennifer Lawrence – Silver Linings PLaybook
Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty

Alan Arkin – Argo
Christoph Waltz – Django Unchained
Tommy Lee Jones – Lincoln
Philip Seymour Hoffman – The Master
Robert De Niro – Silver Linings Playbook

Anne Hathaway – Les Misérables
Sally Field – Lincoln
Amy Adams – The Master
Helen Hunt – The Sessions
Jacki Weaver – Silver Linings Playbook

Michael Haneke – Amour
Quentin Tarantino – Django Unchained
John Gatins – Flight
Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola – Moonrise Kingdom
Mark Boal – Zero Dark Thirty

Chris Terrio – Argo
Lucy Alibar, Benh Zeitlin – Beasts of the Southern Wild
David Magee – Life Of Pi
Tony Kushner – Lincoln
David O. Russell – Silver Linings Playbook

Amour
Kon-Tiki
No
A Royal Affair
War Witch

Seamus McGarvey – Anna Karenina
Robert Richardson – Django Unchained
Claudio Miranda – Life Of Pi
Janusz Kaminski – Lincoln
Roger Deakins – Skyfall

Brave
Frankenweenie
ParaNorman
The Pirates! Band Of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph

5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How To Survive A Plague
The Invisible War
Searching For Sugar Man

William Goldenberg – Argo
Tim Squyres – Life Of Pi
Michael Kahn – Lincoln
Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers – Silver Linings Playbook
William Goldenberg, Dylan Tichenor – Zero Dark Thirty

Dario Marianelli – Anna Karenina
Alexandre Desplat – Argo
Mychael Danna – Life Of Pi
John Williams – Lincoln
Thomas Newman – Skyfall

“Before My Time” – Chasing Ice
“Pi’s Lullaby” – Life Of Pi
“Suddenly” – Les Miserables
“Skyfall” – Skyfall
“Everybody Needs A Best Friend” – Ted

Anna Karenina
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables
Life Of Pi
Lincoln

Anna Karenina
Les Misérables
Lincoln
Mirror Mirror
Snow White and the Huntsman

Hitchcock
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables

Argo
Django Unchained
Life Of Pi
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty

Argo
Les Misérables
Life Of Pi
Lincoln
Skyfall

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life Of Pi
Marvel’s The Avengers
Prometheus
Snow White And The Huntsman

Inocente
Kings Point
Mondays At Racine
Open Heart
Redemption

Adam And Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head Over Heels
Maggie Simpson In The Longest Daycare
Paperman

Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death Of A Shadow
Henry

Ben Affleck’s Argo is a helluva thriller. One of the best Hollywood has released this year. I’ve personally disliked his other directing efforts, not because they were bad, I actually think they are very well made. Gone Baby Gone had me until it’s ridiculous ending and The Town is an engrossing crime melodrama that felt like a blue collar ode to Michael Mann’s much better film Heat. But here Affleck nails it. Everything about Argo is top notch. Roger Ebert has been saying that this is the film to beat for the Best Picture Oscar. While I’m not going to go all in on that bet it’s a safe bet that Argo will nab probably around 6-7 nominations come February.

Ben Affleck stars as Tony Mendez, a CIA agent whose job is to go into risky situations and rescue people. Mendez comes off as a company man. He gives his all to his job, so much so that his wife has left him with their young son. When we meet Mendez he is passed out on his bed after a night of boozing. His phone rings and he is called in to work on an emergency.

His boss played by Bryan Cranston updates him on the situation. The American embassy in Iran has been penetrated by an angry mob and hostages have been taken. But a handful of Americans have escaped and are hiding out at the home of the Canadian representative. The film opens with the embassy siege and Affleck gets his film off to a grueling start. The angry mob chants outside violently, loudly. Everyone inside can feel it coming and you can almost see their hearts beating out of their chests.

So now we have a problem. A few Americans are stuck in a house in the middle of a city with millions of people who would kill them if they were to be found. While a bunch of paper was shredded before everyone evacuated the embassy, the Revolutionary Guard (think the Iranian KGB, kinda) start forcing kids in sweat shops to put together the shredded paper to see information.

Now the Americans have to get out before their pictures are put back together and the RG find out that there are other people missing. You might be wondering why Iranians are mad enough to storm the American embassy. Let me explain. Iran was run by a guy who was not well liked around the globe (especially the U.S.), so they (the U.S.) took him out of power and installed a new leader. He was not well liked in Iran and they basically got rid of him. The ousted leader fled to the U.S. where he was granted asylum. The people of Iran demanded that he be returned so he could stand trial and ultimately be hanged. When their cries went unheard, they protested and eventually stormed the embassy.

The CIA has some emergency meetings on how to get the Americans out. Some of them are straight up laughable. One of them involves the hiding Americans to ride bikes over 300 miles to the Iraqi border. This idea is banking on the idea that they don’t get any flat tires or you know, like dying from exhaustion. Now let’s be honest. Mendez’s idea isn’t exactly great either. Wait, what’s his idea? Well I’m glad you asked. His idea is to make a fake science fiction film that has some exotic location shoots that would require an Iranian backdrop. Each of the hideaways would have a different job whether it’d be the director, screenwriter or camera man. Mendez flies in to Tehran gives them fake identities they are to learn in a day. There is a fantastic sequence where they are touring a crowded market for a location shoot.

Unfortunately, you just can’t fly into Iran with this idea and expect them to buy it. Mendez realizes that he needs some actual Hollywood filmmakers to bankroll this idea and promote this. So he flies off to Los Angeles to talk to filmmakers who would be interested. He happens to know a guy who does make up/fx work for films. He is played by John Goodman and let’s be honest here. This is John fucking Goodman we’re talking about. He is welcome in any movie as far as I’m concerned. He’s great here.

Goodman is essentially a link for Mendez to a producer needed to pass the word around town of this fake movie. That producer is played by Alan Arkin. Arkin is great in the film but seriously, he could do this film in his sleep. Regardless, he and Goodman have some terrific scenes that really let the audience breathe during the really tense sequences in the film. It was only a few years prior that Star Wars set the world aflame and with its success they think a new space epic would be a good film to sell to the Iranian government. After looking for hours they stumble upon the script. That film is Argo.

Argo succeeds for many reasons. First of all, it’s very well made. Affleck nails down the era whether it’d be the clothes, hairstyles and general feeling of the period. Even the old school Warner Brothers logo that the studio rocked in the 1970’s is used and to me that alone put me into the mood the film was trying to get across. Secondly, it’s very well-acted. Other than the aforementioned actors, Affleck casts veteran actors in other supporting roles and all of them are more than up to the challenge. Tate Donovan, Clea DuVall, Rory Cochrane and Christopher Denham are all terrific as four of the Americans hiding out for their lives. And last but not least, it’s just flat out terrific fun. Argo is a two hour film that flies by. While its main intention is to entertain it also sets out to inform. I went to the film with my mom who obviously knew about the Iranian hostage crisis that last 444 days, but had no idea about this little subplot that was taking place at the same time.

The final 45 minutes of Argo is intense. Affleck easily slides from one tense sequence to another, sprinkling in dashes of humor here and there. This is pure Hollywood entertainment we’re talking about. At moments you’ll want to stand up and cheer. After the film finished my mom looked at me and had to catch her breath while telling me she was glad she didn’t have a heart condition. Affleck seems like one of the genuine good guys in Hollywood. Here he has made his best film so far. It also happens to be one of the best mainstream offerings of the year.