If you saw her recent hosting stint on Saturday Night Live, you know that it’s easy to imagine an alternate universe in which Melissa McCarthy is an SNL alum, using the late night show as a springboard in very much the same way Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have. McCarthy’s new comedic venture, The Boss, directed by her husband, Ben Falcone, feels like a movie based on one of her most popular characters from said alternate-universe SNL (in our reality, it’s a character she, Falcone and collaborator Steve Mallory created during their time with The Groundlings). It’s an unabashed star-vehicle that, while not as successful or funny as last year’s Spy, is still solid entertainment and even harbors some heartfelt moments that add some unexpected dimension to an otherwise straightforward story.

McCarthy plays Michelle Darnell, an enterprising billionaire/motivational speaker who wins at everything, stomps over everyone, and pushes away anyone who gets too close to her heart. Ethically impaired and insanely confident, Darnell is both a symbol of white privilege and female empowerment, giving McCarthy lots of room to flaunt her gift of gab and sling inventive vulgarities like only she can (the movie’s R rating is essential). One minute she’s asking her dutiful assistant Claire (Kristen Bell) to apply whitener to her teeth, a plastic contraption holding her mouth open so wide she looks like the Predator; the next, she’s demanding her helicopter pilot remove his shirt as they fly off into the night sky. Darnell is McCarthy’s critique on rich, greedy people and it’s really funny for the most part though some jokes (like a recurring one involving her bullying a young girl for not being effeminate enough) fall absolutely flat. Overall, it’s a sharp performance with some hit-or-miss material, which is common for movies of The Boss‘ ilk.

The story starts with a montage origin story, showing how Michelle grew up an orphan, suffering rejection after rejection as she struggled to find a home and a family. Eventually, she gives up and adopts a one-versus-all attitude, becoming a cutthroat, take-no-prisoners, turtleneck-wearing finance mogul. One of her victims on her rise to the top was ex-lover and fellow big-business bastard Renault (Peter Dinklage), who’s since dedicated his career to stealing and piggybacking on Michelle’s success (though he still has a burning passion for her “wonderful body”). Renault is presented with the perfect opportunity to strike Michelle down when she’s arrested for a white-collar crime that lands her in rich-person jail for a while (inmate tennis court and all) and results in the government seizing all of her assets and belongings.

The only person Michelle can turn to is Claire, who’s hesitant to take her former, tactless, self-obsessed boss in from off the street. Her apartment is cramped as it is, but Claire’s daughter Rachel (Ella Anderson, cute as a button and full of potential) convinces her to lend a helping hand. From there, a family drama develops, with Michelle building a Girl Scout-adjacent brownie-selling empire for Rachel and her friends; everything goes swimmingly until Claire and Rachel start to feel like a family, prompting Michelle to run away scared and sell the company to the slimy Renault. It’s as contrived a plot as any, but McCarthy makes it work with a tearful scene that sees Michelle admit to her deepest faults. In a movie full of absurdist, in-your-face humor (in an Anchorman-inspired fight scene, McCarthy clotheslines a little girl in slo-mo), this admission of guilt actually feels real, almost jarringly so. The rest of the chosen-family drama that plays out isn’t nearly as genuine, though, which is a big problem considering that the story essentially hinges on the relationship between the three leading women.

The crudeness of the comedy won’t be for everyone, but I took a fair measure of enjoyment in watching a Girl Scout gang war break out in a quiet, posh neighborhood. Screwball physical comedy is well within McCarthy’s wheelhouse, and she goes for it big-time, from getting pancaked by a faulty sofabed to selling the classic fall-down-the-stairs. Perhaps the film’s biggest feather in its cap is that it passes the Bechdel test with flying colors—this is a movie driven by women, with men existing only on the periphery, which is always refreshing in the male-dominated Hollywood landscape. McCarthy’s been better in other projects, but The Boss is nonetheless a crudely entertaining studio comedy and a solid showcase of the surging actor’s many talents.

The beautiful thing about old-school arcade games like Pac-Man, Donkey Kong and Centipede is that they take passion, endurance and dedication to master. Few people on this earth are equipped with the skills to be the best at these electronic mental marathons, and these special few are basically freaks of nature (watch Seth Gordon’s modern classic The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters to fully understand their freakiness). Retro arcade gaming is an amazing, fascinating, largely undiscovered American subculture that’s deserved to be the subject of a  big-budget, big-screen vehicle for a long time. (No, Wreck-It Ralph doesn’t count; that movie’s about the games, not the gamers.)

Pixels, a movie by Chris Columbus and a product of Adam Sandler‘s Happy Madison Productions empire, is meant to be about retro gamers, but isn’t about anything at all. This movie makes no sense, has no message, isn’t funny and harbors what is easily the worst performance of Peter Dinklage‘s career. It’s a crying shame, especially for a lifelong gamer like myself, though the movie is extraordinarily impressive in one, very unexpected facet of its presentation, which I’ll save for later.

The plot is Independence Day, except woefully over-simplified and with classic video game characters playing the aliens. In a flashback to 1982 (when video arcades still existed), we meet our heroes. Sam Brenner is an good-natured arcade wizard, but he loses a NASA-sponsored gaming tournament to Eddie “The Fire Blaster” Plant, a cocky, mullet-rocking little person who smokes him at Donkey Kong. Sam’s best buddy, Will, is loyal to the end, though, and assures Sam that he’s destined for bigger things. As a consolation prize, they make a new friend at the arcade, a Napoleon Dynamite-like creature named Ludlow. This opening sequence has a great, vintage look and starts the movie on the right foot, though it’s all downhill from there.

Jump ahead to present day, and aliens that inexplicably look and behave exactly like the characters in the games Sam mastered as a kid have declared war on earth and threaten to blow our blue planet to smithereens. (Well, not exactly “smithereens”; everything the aliens touch gets “pixelated,” falling apart into neon-bright cubes of light.) Naturally (predictably), adult Sam (Sandler), Will (Kevin James), Eddie (Dinklage) and Ludlow (Josh Gad) are the only ones with enough gamer skill to save the day. (Oddly enough, Will grew up to be the President of the United States, which fast-tracked his friends to the front of the military earth-defense line.)

Nonsense incoming: When a giant, alien Pac-Man starts tearing apart New York City, he and his friends jump into color-coded cars, chasing Pac-Man through the streets and alleys as if they were the evil ghosts from the game. Sam was good at arcade games. How in the world, then, is he suddenly also a professional driver? Earlier in the movie, he’s holding a laser gun, shooting “centipedes” out of the night sky in London. I could have sworn he was a master of buttons and joysticks, not a badass gunman with perfect aim. It’s moronic. This movie isn’t about video games or gamers; it’s generic, trashy, sci-fi action shlock that prostitutes retro gaming and uses it as arbitrary window dressing. Blech.

Across the board, the cast is on their D-game. Sandler’s been playing the same, sleepy-Seth-Rogen character for the past several years, and he doesn’t break that streak here (same goes for Kevin James and his meathead routine). Michelle Monaghan plays Sandler’s love interest, and her role as a sexy government official is as demeaning and stereotypical as you’d imagine. Gad alternates between shrieking and sulking as the mentally unstable Ludlow, but his performance is more off-putting than funny.

Like I said, Dinklage is a mess: He puts on a mind-numbing accent that sounds like Barry White trying to talk like a “totally tubular” ’80s kid, and his comedic timing is near nonexistent. He says nasty things, like demanding a three-way with Serena Williams and Martha Stewart in the Lincoln Bedroom, and Columbus lingers on him forever, as if he’s positive the audience is erupting in laughter at the absurdity of it all. Instead: crickets. Not one laugh-worthy line. Not one. It’s painful to see such a great actor fail so miserably.

Family-friendly action adventures like this typically leave you with some kind of moral or encouraging message. For the life of me, I don’t know what Pixels is trying to say. All of its heroes have dreams, and at the end of the story, all those dreams come true. But they learn nothing about themselves along the way. It’s a head-scratcher trying to figure out the point of it all. You’d think, maybe, that the message would be about retro games and how, even amongst today’s more complex, technologically advanced games, they still hold up as essential gaming experiences. Nope. Spoiler alert: Sam saves the world by ditching his old-school gaming philosophies and adopting a modern gaming approach. I honestly don’t understand most of this movie.

I saved the good news for last, though it’ll only apply to those willing to shell out extra dough for a movie ticket. Pixels has some of the best 3-D glasses implementation I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Aside from a few exceptions (Pixar movies, Coraline, Avatar), I detest putting on those damn 3-D glasses, but this movie blew me away: the colors were vibrant; people’s noses looked closer to us than their ears; shots of large crowds had cavernous depth. The more obvious visual effects—like the aliens exploding into a zillion “pixels”—looked great too, but it was the subtle stuff that dropped my jaw. I really, really didn’t like this movie, but at least it’s a fun tech demonstration.

Game of Thrones season 5 is over, and boy are we crushed.

Season finale “Mother’s Mercy” was anything but merciful. Ananda and Bernard were absolutely wrecked by the string of tragic events that unfolded in the episode. It saw the demise of several key characters, though one particularly unexpected and cruel death was the main cause of our hosts’ misery. All bets are off now, as several popular GoT theories bit the dust along with one of the show’s most popular characters.

What did you think of “Mother’s Mercy?” Do you need a drink as bad as we do?

Game of Thrones – “Mother’s Mercy” Reactions

The buzz around what could potentially be the first good Adam Sandler film in a while (sorry The Cobbler, but no) has finally culminated in a first trailer for Pixels.

In 1982 the world sends out a capsule to the universe as a peaceful token of our openness to communication. With clips of President Reagan and Rubik’s Cubes and…Pac-Man and Donkey Kong. Only the aliens take it the wrong way. They interpret the pixellated muncher and the patience-challenged gorilla as a threat to their existence so they build weapons to match. When they begin attacking the planet Earth, U.S. President Will Cooper, played by Kevin James, and his First Lady, played by Jane Krakowski, know to look for one man: his childhood best friend and ’80s video game champion Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler). Along with a team of old school gamers including Peter Dinklage and Josh Gad they will have to figure out how to beat the ultimate arcade challenge. And the stakes are high.

Directed by Chris Columbus, the screenplay was written by Timothy Dowling whose past credits include Role Models and Just Go With It.

Rounding out the cast is Sean Bean, Michelle Monaghan, and Pretty Little Liar’s Ashley Benson.

Pixels is the eighth time Adam Sandler and Kevin James are partnering up in a comedy. The release date is set for July 24th, 2015.

Ricky Gervais returned as the host for the 69th Golden Globe Awards offending attendees with a beer just as he did last year. Although, this year he was a little more tame with his jokes, he proved he was worthy of being a repeating host.

As expected The Artist ended up with the most wins with three (including Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical and Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical). But The Descendants was a close second with two big wins (Best Motion Picture — Drama and Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama).

On the TV side of the awards no one show dominated and there were some surprises, namely Kelsey Grammer winning as Best Actor in a Drama and Matt LeBlanc getting a win for Best Actor in a Comedy. Game Of Thrones, Modern Family and American Horror Story each walked out with a win while Boardwalk Empire and Breaking Bad sadly going home empty handed.

The full list of Golden Globe film winners:
(The winners are highlighted in bold red font)

Best Motion Picture – Drama:
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
War Horse

Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical:
50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn

Best Director:
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
George Clooney – The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne – The Descendants
Martin Scorsese – Hugo

Best Actress – Drama:
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Rooney Mara – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton – We Need to Talk About Kevin

Best Actor – Drama:
George Clooney – The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio – J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender – Shame
Ryan Gosling – The Ides of March
Brad Pitt – Moneyball

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical:
Jodie Foster – Carnage
Charlize Theron – Young Adult
Kristen Wiig – Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet – Carnage

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical:
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Brendan Gleeson – The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – 50/50
Ryan Gosling – Crazy, Stupid, Love
Owen Wilson – Midnight In Paris

Best Supporting Actress:
Berenice Bejo – The Artist
Jessica Chastain – The Help
Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer – The Help
Shailene Woodley – The Descendants

Best Supporting Actor:
Kenneth Branagh – My Week with Marilyn
Albert Brooks – Drive
Jonah Hill – Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen – A Dangerous Method
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Foreign Language Film:
The Flowers of War (China)
In the Land of Blood and Honey (USA)
The Kid With a Bike (Belgium)
A Separation (Iran)
The Skin I Live In (Spain)

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture:
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon – The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash – The Descendants
Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin – Moneyball

Best Original Score – Motion Picture:
Ludovic Bource – The Artist
Abel Korzeniowski – W.E.
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Howard Shore – Hugo
John Williams – War Horse

Best Animated Feature Film:
The Adventures of Tintin
Arthur Christmas
Cars 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

Best Original Song – Motion Picture:
Hello Hello – Gnomeo & Juliet, music by Elton John, lyrics by Bernie Taupin
The Keeper – Machine Gun Preacher, music and lyrics by Chris Cornell
Lay Your Head Down – Albert Nobbs, music by Brian Byrne, lyrics by Glenn Close
The Living Proof – The Help, music by Mary J. Blige, Thomas Newman, Harvey Mason Jr.; lyrics by Mary J. Blige, Harvey Mason Jr., Damon Thomas
Masterpiece – W.E., music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry

Cecil B. DeMille Award:
Morgan Freeman

The full list of Golden Globe television winners:

Best Drama Series:
American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game of Thrones
Homeland

Best Comedy Or Musical:
Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
Modern Family
New Girl

Best TV Movie/Miniseries:
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Hour
Mildred Pierce
Too Big to Fail

Best Actress – Drama:
Claire Danes – Homeland
Mireille Enos – The Killing
Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
Madeleine Stowe – Revenge
Callie Thorne – Necessary Roughness

Best Actor – Drama:
Steve Buscemi – Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad
Kelsey Grammer – Boss
Jeremy Irons – The Borgias
Damian Lewis – Homeland

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical:
Laura Dern – Enlightened
Zooey Deschanel – New Girl
Tina Fey – 30 Rock
Laura Linney – The Big C
Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical:
Hugh Bonneville – Downtown Abbey
Idris Elba – Luther
William Hurt – Too Big to Fail
Bill Nighy – Page Eight
Dominic West – The Hour

Best Actress – TV Movie/Miniseries:
Romola Garai – The Hour
Diane Lane – Cinema Verite
Elizabeth McGovern – Downton Abbey
Emily Watson – Appropriate Adult
Kate Winslet – Mildred Pierce

Best Actor – TV Movie/Miniseries:
Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock
David Duchovny – Californication
Johnny Galecki – The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane – Hung
Matt LeBlanc – Episodes

Best Supporting Actress – TV Series:
Jessica Lange – American Horror Story
Kelly MacDonald – Boardwalk Empire
Maggie Smith – Downtown Abbey
Sofia Vergara – Modern Family
Evan Rachel Wood – Mildred Pierce

Best Supporting Actor – TV Series:
Peter Dinklage – Game of Thrones
Paul Giamatti – Too Big to Fail
Guy Pearce – Mildred Pierce
Tim Robbins – Cinema Verite
Eric Stonestreet – Modern Family

This is a low-key movie about a lonely dwarf who’s only friend passed away, which he then moves to a new small town. His life has been full of constant ridicule and rude stares. It seems that the only thing he has interest in his life are trains. With his recent move (which is in an old train depot) comes new neighbors and opportunities.

The main character Finbar (Peter Dinklage) after shortly moving in, meets a man named Joe who runs a local roadside coffee trailer. One which doesn’t seem to get a lot of business. Joe is also a lonely soul and is very excited when Finbar arrives. Joe seems like he has all the time in the world on his hands and no one to spend it with, so he forces himself into a friendship with Finbar. Being the recluse that he is, Finbar is very put off about it at first. He seeks isolation and makes it obvious.

The Station Agent is a some what of a slow moving and quiet movie, which is not to say boring. In fact, it was incredibly entertaining the entire way through. Although most of the movie has sort of a depressing vibe to it, there is definitely some comedy in it. In more than one scene I found myself laughing aloud. The music albeit subtle, fits in perfectly. It was interesting to learn that the film was actually shot in just 20 days. The acting is absolutely spot on. It felt absolutely genuine. Actor Peter Dinklage is truly playing himself and you get a sense of hardship he has endured because he just seems natural in this role.

This indie flick is very solid, great acting, great story. Maybe a little slow moving and doesn’t have a satisfying ending for the mainstream watchers, but you would be foolish not to give this one a chance.