Whether they were inspired by the similarly titled Kanye West song or not, the title of this warm but silly caper comedy quite aptly fits the film’s rather obvious but chucklesome plot. Directed by Ian Edelman and starring Luis Guzman and Edgar Garcia as the titular Puerto Ricans, Luis and Eddie, the film starts with the pair as brothers-in-law and police partners working in the rather un-sexy field of handbag knockoffs. After a particularly clever undercover operation where they take down a Louis Vuitton fake manufacturer, they are handpicked by a popular French handbag designer, Colette (Alice Taglioni), and her business partner, to track down which of their colleagues has stolen one of Colette’s bags and may be intending to sell it to the knockoff market.

As per usual in these sorts of buddy comedies, one of the men is married, Eddie, and one is determinedly single, Luis. Eddie is married to Luis’s sister Gloria (Rosie Perez, and ridiculously underused) and can’t seem to get things right as he forgets their anniversary and then fails to deliver any sort of celebration to make up for it. Luis is (inexplicably) dating Vanessa (Rosario Dawson) who is getting antsy that he won’t pop the question and gives him an ultimatum when he lets slip that he may never want to marry.

When the offer to track down the stealer of the handbag in Paris comes along, not to mention a hefty reward offer, they decide taking the job may be their opportunity to make things right with their chicas. The usual sort of aloofness ensues, as two hard-nosed NYPD Puerto Ricans could never be expected to know how to behave in a chic a place as Paris *sigh*. Some deserved laughs arrive in the form of Eddie’s willingness to learn and experience the Parisian life. Luis is more determined to track down the thief, get his money, and go. Luis, usually the ladies man (aren’t all middle-aged Puerto Rican men?) is confused to find Eddie and his mild Dad-like empathetic married-man qualities seem to win over the Parisian ladies more than Luis’s attempts.

The two interview a few women close to Colette, dressing up in silly costumes and making up ridiculous cover stories in order to win trust. At one point they have a lead, and then it becomes obvious they don’t. They butt heads with the Paris police. They generally bumble about. It’s all rather predictable. Strangely the writers, Ian Edelman and Neel Shah, decided that the wrench in Luis and Eddie’s relationship would be around Luis’s misconception that Eddie and Colette are spending a little too much time together. As if anything in Eddie’s already established personality makes him appear like an adulterer?

The end result is a weak plot and silly concept utilizing two genuinely talented hispanic actors who just can’t quite make up for it all. The entire thing reeks of formulation and rather generic comedy. While Luis Guzman should probably have been given a headlining platform long ago, and as much as we love Guzman and Garcia in Edelman’s How to Make it In America, the content here is far too weak for the talent involved. Garcia, a relatively inexperienced actor, is surprisingly lovable here if somewhat flat in his delivery.

Considering the stated cultural identity of the film, it really doesn’t play off of this much at all. Only with the usual hispanic tropes. The fact that both Rosario Dawson and Rosie Perez were cast and then given all of maybe 15 minutes combined screen time, is just puzzling. It may just be Edelman hasn’t quite grasped the long-form of feature films, as the entire premise of Puerto Ricans in Paris would make for a great short sketch on television, but over the course of 80 minutes (short even for a comedy feature) the film is agreeable but not all that winsome.

It’s rare I start a movie immediately believing I hate it, end the film feeling like maybe I’d misjudged, and two days later feel even more convinced it’s an interesting if not groundbreaking film. Filmed on 35mm and left in its grittiest state—the colors have a relatively untreated feel, like a ’70s Dirty Harry film—Too Late is an L.A. noir shot in five continuous take scenes. With old-fashioned noir lines spouted from the mouths of modern LA characters, the film feels exceptionally off in its attempts to homage older films, but the building mystery and the always engaging John Hawkes, elevate the film much further than it possibly deserves.

Told out of order, the film opens on Dorothy (Crystal Reed), who looks like more of a Little Red Riding Hood in her red sweatshirt, and who quickly becomes the prey of several men as she hangs out in the hills of Elysian Park overlooking downtown L.A. When she has trouble making a call from her dated flip phone, she asks two passing drug dealers (Ryder Strong and Dash Mihok) for the use of their phone. The men, who had just previously been discussing movie tropes and discussing how much easier things would be if at the climax of a film all could be revealed by one character simply handing another character a copy of the film to catch them up—Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead being their example of a time this would have come in handy—lend Dorothy their phone. She calls John Hawkes’ Sampson, a private detective, who seems to have an affection for the girl despite the two having only spent one night together a year previous. The camera sloppily zooms in over to Chinatown from the hilltop to focus on Sampson as he takes the call.

Sampson jumps in his Thunderbird to come get the distraught Dorothy, Jesse and Matthew the drug dealers leave her with some ecstasy, and soon enough Dorothy finds herself chatting with a slimy park ranger who uses such unbelievably charming and flirtatious language any woman watching would have their creeper-radar at DEFCON 1. That Dorothy, a supposedly somewhat street-wise stripper, continues to chat with him becomes increasingly unbelievable. And its only the first instance of almost every female in the film being given highly implausible and slightly exploitive material to work with.

The mystery unfolds at the end of this scene and we jump ahead to the end of the story, then back to before the beginning, then back to the middle, then over to what would be the penultimate scene if anything went chronologically. It’s a good pace, though it takes some catching up to understand. The stakes often don’t feel quite high enough, though there is a satisfying sort of twist at the end. Mostly the film grows more intriguing the more we get to see of Sampson. Hawkes is the only one in the film able to pull off the constant spout of silly speech. Every scene sees him interacting with a different female—in fact, every one of the five scenes is anchored on a male-female dynamic—and he seems to add respect to the table which makes all the difference in their interactions. The film’s second scene involves a doting and cooped up housewife, Janet, wallowing in the truth of her husband’s disaffection and infidelity, played superbly by Vail Bloom. That Bloom was directed to play this entire scene bottomless was at first humorous, and then simply suspiciously distasteful. Another scene follows Sampson’s ex-lover (Dichen Lachman) as she works both a boxing match and a drive-in theater in nothing but a bikini and heels, the camera staying just far enough away to allow her half-naked bottom to maintain focus.

While clearly first time director Dennis Hauck has a real love for the old-timey-ness possibility of film—in addition to being shot on 35mm the scene at the drive-in focuses on Sampson’s ex Jill’s ability to change a film reel—he hasn’t quite grasped the way to incorporate this passion into a film with modern flourishes. His writing reflects a childish amusement at his own clever wordplay, but seems to forget that the best noir had as much to do with silence as with dialogue.

This film proves several things: John Hawkes can elevate a film far beyond where it would be without him, females are usually the more intriguing elements of a noir so don’t abuse them, and witty dialogue does not an intelligent film make. For a first-time film, Hauck proves he has ambition aplenty, and if honed even more he is certainly someone to keep an eye on. Too Late is engaging and at times amusing in spite of itself, its whole being somewhat better than its parts. But there’s no denying why this film works in any small way, and his name is John Hawkes.

So the thing about the LA Film Festival is that making a recommendation list is pretty futile. So any other articles you’ve read telling you what you MUST see are bullsh***ing you. This is because the LA Film Festival is one of the few American film festivals that truly takes risks on its acceptances.

With films in a variety of categories, such as LA Muse (dedicated to Angelino inspired films), Zeitgiest (films that reflect the times), and Nightfall (for us late night horror fans), the offering is a mixed bag, and while there are a few festival-tested films (which is what their Buzz section is for), most films are 100% indie and 100% full of potential. We couldn’t have predicted last year how much we’d love Man From Reno, Runoff (which gets a release later this month), and The Mind of Mark DeFriest. Not to mention last year’s gala screenings of Snowpiercer (among our favorites over all last year) and Dear White People.

As if to prove just how unexpected they can be, the curators of LAFF waited until today—the day before the festival begins—to announce their closing night film. And turns out it isn’t a film at all. It’s a live read-through of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And guess who’s directing? Just guess. No, don’t. You won’t get it. It’s Eli Roth! Not exactly the dude who comes to mind when you think light-hearted high school humor. Maybe he’ll have a squirt gun of blood to spray at the actors?

As varied as the festival is, there are a few already-buzzed about films (and ones we’ve personally seen) that we can recommend right off the bat. Opening night’s Grandma is one of the best things we saw at Tribeca and has been discussed since Sundance. Lily Tomlin will also be receiving the Spirit of Independence Award so extra reason to catch that one. Additionally The Overnight, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, and Chuck Norris vs. Communism are also playing and have been garnering buzz wherever they are screened.

As for potential diamonds in the rough, here are a few we can’t wait to check out, and don’t forget about all the fun free things to do like a screening of Who Framed Roger Rabbit at Union Station on Friday!

Manson Family Vacation

Sunday, June 14 at 7:00 PM (Regal Cinemas LA Live 11)

These days you put the name “Duplass” in front of or after any film and us indie freaks perk up. The Duplass brothers have been giving us a lot of good stuff the past few years and here we have something new produced by and starring Jay Duplass. Directed by J. Davis, the film offers an intriguing premise. Duplass plays Nick Morgan, a man who has family, home, and career all going for him. His brother Conrad (Linas Phillips) has none of this. Conrad shows up for a visit and convinces Nick to partake in a road trip to visit the sites of the Manson Family murders. Sounds like equal parts unconventional and funny. We’re game.

Band of Robbers

Saturday, June 13 at 6:15 PM (Regal Cinemas LA Live 9)

Starring Kyle Gallner, Adam Nee, Matthew Gray Gubler, Hannibal Buress and mascarading as a modern day Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, this looks like a crazy bandit fantasy. I recommend simply watching the trailer (which has a killer soundtrack btw) below and then buying tickets. LAFF is the perfect place to embrace the weirdest things you can find. They almost always impress.

Too Late

Thursday, June 11 at 7:30 PM (Bing Theater at LACMA)

John Hawkes’s name has carried weight for us ever since Winter’s Bone—and probably should have sooner—so seeing his name among those listed for LAFF means we’re up for what’s next from this dedicated and intense actor. In this one he plays a private investigator named Mel Sampson, hired to track down a missing woman. Turns out she’s connected to his own past and the search takes him through southern California and among some eccentric personalities. Shot on 35mm, we look forward to some gritty California and some gritty John Hawkes.

Crumbs

Sunday, June 14 at 9:30 PM (Regal Cinemas LA Live 9)

As part of the dark and twisty Nightfall category at the festival, this one just reads as straight up enticing. Set in Ethiopia and directed by Spanish filmmaker Miguel Llansó, the basic premise is that an alien mothership has lied dormant for many years floating on the horizon. Then it comes to life and one man decides to make it his quest to board the ship. He crosses a post-apocalyptic landscape to get there as others barter with the aliens using pop cultural artifacts. Slap a big old question mark over my head and consider me intrigued.

The Final Girls

Tuesday, June 16 at 7:30 PM  (Regal Cinemas LA Live 1)

So if you happen to have written your college thesis on slasher films and the concept of the Final Girl, like a certain writer penning this article *ahem*, then the title alone will have wooed you in months ago when first you heard of this film when it premiered at SXSW. Not as in the know? No worries. In this film a girl, Max (Taissa Farmiga), gets sucked into an ’80s slasher flick with her friends. Her mother, a former scream queen actress, stars in the film, and Max has to use her knowledge of the genre to ensure she and her friends survive until the end and make their way back home. If the film simultaneously honors and pokes fun at this most revered of horror genres, then it’s already made my all-time favorite list.

Seoul Searching

Wednesday, June 17 at 7:30 PM (Regal Cinemas LA Live 1)

Another of the festival’s Gala screenings, this one is similar to The Final Girls in its ’80s genre homage. This time to the high school films of John Hughes. Based on filmmaker Benson Lee’s personal experiences, the film centers on a group of Korean high school misfits during the summer of 1986. Hailing from around the world, the teens are forced to go to a “propaganda” camp in Seoul over the summer in order to connect with what it means to be Korean. Filled with ’80s nostalgia and cultural hilarity, it looks like the situational comedy we never knew we were missing.

Dude Bro Party Massacre III

Saturday, June 13 at 10:20 PM (Regal Cinemas LA Live 8)

I’m tempted to say the title alone is weird enough to warrant a viewing. And as it falls under that never-know-what-your-gonna-get Nightfall category, it could be super bad. Or so bad it’s good. Or intentionally bad so as to be so good. Watch the trailer below, it reeks of satire but seems especially dedicated to mimicking those direct-to-VHS horror franchise films we sometimes got suckered into back in the day when a person could still rent a video. If you love (fake) blood and sheer tongue-in-cheek ridiculousness, this looks like great fun.